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Tuesday, 1 December 2009

waguan blaad?! Where dya get dat kettle on ya wrist cuz??

Some of us have been brainwashed so badly by music, TV, magazines etc that even our use of language has some what deviated from the dictionary ‘ya get me blaad’?!

I have even caught myself doing it and wondered to myself…’what am I talking about’?

So here is a quick guide on how to sound stupid and what these stupid term mean (this set was taken from the essex model)


alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item

amant - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend")


assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc


awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost ("That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day")


branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?")


cort a panda - A rather large hamburger


Dan in the maff - Unhappy ("Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit Dan in the maff")


eye-eels - Women's shoes


Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre


garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired(Trace: "Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs at go in the garrij cos it aint working proper")


Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island


lafarjik - Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik")


OI OI! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs


paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport


reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig")


Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's, popular soap opera, Eastenders go on holiday


tan - The city of
London , the big smoke

webbats - Querying the location something or someone is. ("Webbats is me car keys Trace?")


wonnid - 1. Desired, needed. 2. Wanted by the police

zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is. ("I told ya a fazzand times already")


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